Today feels like it's going to be bad....psychologically. Spent my morning laughing and then crying and then faked my way through a conference call and then made lunch I don't want to eat but I don't want any questions or confrontations and then I'm trying to leave L alone so he doesn't get sick of me and I only have one cigarette left and I'm going to smoke it anyway and I really want a drink even though it's only noon and Katie loves me and is a rockstar and I love Paula's front porch and I can't breathe even though I know I am breathing and I can't think even though all I can do is think and I can't do this day, I can't do this day, I can't do this day
I wanna run....just run and run and run and run
I hate him so much for hurting me. When do I get to be just a normal girl? I'm so sad today. I feel broken and empty and worthless. Why am I so sad today?
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