So I went to see Paula last night and we did our usual front-porch cocktails. I completely went nuts about L. Just started freaking out. Why would he call me? Why does he want to see me? What is he going to do to me? How is he going to hurt me this time? What if he doesn't mean it? Should I have slept with him? Would he ever call me again (despite the fact we had texted and called each other already that day)?
And finally, he called me and you know what he did? He didn't get upset with me. He didn't hang up on me. He spent twenty minutes just calming me down and said over and over again just breathe and relax. And I fucking did. Went from psycho freak out to calm just by listening to his voice. And he didn't abandon me and he didn't say screw this bitch. He just calmed me down. I'm still calm. He might call me today and he might not and I am actually okay with that. I'm not freaking out at this point. Last night I was lying in the grass pulling up handfuls of the stuff thinking there is no way I'm not going to ruin this and he said relax. :) He said I couldn't ruin it. Everything was going to be fine.
I believe him.
No comments:
Post a Comment