Today I got up ready to run my own errands but a snafu with accounting (grrr) meant I could not - can't do anything without your paycheck. Even though payday was yesterday, even though when a payday falls on a weekend you should get it on Friday, I still was barely even able to pick my check up and certainly wasn't able to cash it. Privately owned companies..... So even though I had already showered and dressed, I changed into workout clothes, went to the gym, and sweat. I came home, showered again, and sat down in front of my computer to work on a proposal for freakin' goddamn jesus please let's just get this over with France.
But I was given a free pass on a workday and was grateful for it because I'm surrounded by, consumed by, France. Not just Paris, no. Marseille, Provence, Monte Carlo, Cannes.... I can't even think about it right now. So when offered the chance, I took the Amex and the monstrous shopping list and fled. Then my phone rang so I answered it and talked to him and kept missing turns, going to the wrong bank, getting mixed up on the entrance to Ulta. Stood outside in the heat so I could smoke a cigarette while not in the non-smoker's car, just so I could keep talking to him. I know nothing good can come of this. I know I'm just wishing things were different. I know I'm tempting fate.
I don't care.
When we finally hung up I had made it to the right bank and managed to keep myself on track to King Sooper's where I spent I don't know how long filling a cart so full I couldn't even get the dogfood on it and had to go back and get it while they were checking me out. We had two carts to push out to the car (thank you teenage boy who works there). Then home. Unload the car. Put away the groceries. Stash my Diet Coke under my bed like it was contraband. Then I made dinner. Grilled salmon with fresh lemon and ground black peppercorns. Spinach salad with tomatos, bell peppers, avocado, and feta. And later, while playing first the card game golf with Cameron and Ryan and then modified beer pong (soda pong - but none of it was diet so I didn't have to drink it) with Cameron, Ryan, and Ryan's friend Ben, I made banana bread...which I then couldn't eat. *sigh*
So I've just changed a load of laundry, turned off all the lights, cracked open a sinful soda (and wished I had whiskey), and I'm getting ready to watch Tim Burton's 9. And all I can think about is how it used to be having someone next to me to watch the movie too. I suppose I have my Jangos - but she just takes up all the room and barks in her dreams. How absolutely domestic was my day? And I don't get the benefit of any of it being for my family.
But tomorrow I get to play pretend with Coach....so I'm going to make him dinner, and make him banana bread and hope that it's at least worth one night of make-believe. Because though I'm a nurturer by nature I am also impulsive, reckless, selfish, and single.
But hey, I didn't have to work today.
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