Shows What I Know

Nothing has worked out for me at all this week. Nothing! I've run into problems with the purchase of Cecilia. My phone has hardly worked at all. I've barely left the house and I'm ready to fucking scream. I've had headaches off and on all week and emotional ups and downs like crazy. Today started out well, my phone was working, had a nail appointment, the cleaning people came so I have fresh sheets (and I love fresh sheets), and I had the possibility of seeing L. But then I got home and our new screens had arrived and I handed my phone over to Peter. Then he took it apart and he and Kulin went into the bedroom to have sex. It doesn't take a half an hour for Peter to change into shorts and a t-shirt and it certainly doesn't require Kulin's help. So I'm pretty sure fucking was involved. And all that time my phone was in pieces. "oh, this will take ten minutes, tops!". I was waiting to hear from L. And the whole premise of me going to see him tonight was to take the stupid fucking phone with me so he could help me with the iTunes bullshit.

Then Kulin asked me to go put dinner on the grill. I came inside and said it's on, it's in aluminum, heat is on medium. How long will it take to cook? She said, oh a long time. So I went into my room and started reading a book. A little while later she went to check on the meat and said it was a charbroiled hockey puck. Then told me she'd never put it in aluminum before (after she told me to be sure I put it in the fucking aluminum) and said it should have been on low (didn't I fucking tell her I put it on MEDIUM?) then added it only took seven minutes on each side (then why the FUCK did you say oh, a long time?????). Didn't directly yell at me but I still felt blamed and it wasn't my fucking fault. She asked me to put it on for her, not watch it for her. So she made something else for dinner. Peter gave up on my phone again. Then she fed everyone BUT me, cleaned everything up, and then said "oh, I figured you'd just eat a can of tuna anyway". Then they proceeded to drink a bottle of wine without sharing or suggesting I open a second and if anyone could use a fucking drink right now it's me. In fact, FUCK this shit. I'm going out to get a fucking drink.

I guess the whole L thing doesn't fucking matter anyway because I called him from the land line and he didn't answer. Then I put my sim card back into my old phone and texted him and he still hasn't answered. All I really want tonight is to get out of this fucking house and go somewhere, ANYwhere else, and sit on a sofa next to a friend and watch a fucking movie and forget how FUCKING PISSED I am.

Everything is getting on my nerves. I didn't eat because I don't give a FUCK. I skipped the gym today anyway and my fat fucking ass doesn't fucking need to eat. FUCK.

I need a fucking hug. And I need to fucking cry my eyes out. I HATE PMS. I'm in SUCH A BAD MOOD.